In which…in which I write my thoughts as I watch a Kreyolicious music video…

Artist/Band: Dat7
Song: “Se Konsa” [This Is How You Do It], Written by Ricot Amazan
Produced By: Ricot Amazon and Ti Harold
Vocals: Olivier Duret
Director: New Vibrations, Dalex Saint-Jean
Co-Director: Olivier Duret

Nice brows, girl…and is that a mask of the African ancestors on those earrings? Very kreyolicious.

Bon, in this granm maten, you already got your cut-off shorts on. Summer’s not here yet, you know.

Where are we here? In the Middle East…on the border of Asia…first I see this girl…

And now I see a Japanese—oh…so he’s not Japanese…it’s a dreadlock Samurai.

Oh, dreadlock samurai, your sideburns are cute and you’re looking so fly. Do tip your barber next time to thank him (or her) the perfect alignment. Man, this barber sure is handy with the razor blade.

Oh, wait a minute.

I wish to suspend my compliments for the dreadlock samurai for the time being. I see this girl’s nose is running. Her lips are chapped; her lipstick scraped from her lips! She’s crying, and boy, does she look mad. What has the dreadlock samurai done to her? And he’s coming towards her with a huge, huge book. It’s too thick to be a family album. Is it a dictionary? Boy, don’t bring a weapon to your own beat-down. She just might grab it from you, and Samson that face of yours.

Ah, he wisely puts the book down on the table—several feet away from her. Adorable and wise.

And what is the book’s title? Looks like a ying-yang symbol on there, no? A tome on Eastern religion, perhaps?

Uh-oh, she’s getting up….

Ah, a closer look at the book’s cover.

Oh, the song’s title…

Something’s wrong—something’s very wrong—in this relationship. If her tears weren’t an indication, their rapport is. He places the book on the table and walks away. She waits until he’s removed his presence to express the least interest in the book.

Oh, okay, thanks for letting us know…story-book style…

A new fellow has entered the building.

Oh, look, he and the dreadlock samurai must have the same barber.

And maybe the same wardrobe stylist. Oh, the scarves! But what of the look on the face of this new dude? He looks like a human terminator, sunglasses and forbidding look and all.

Look at his figi. I bet he’s trying to blame things on the girl.

Don’t tell me he’s going to play psychologist in all of this. And should we say something about those lips of his? So kreyolicious…so cherry-like, so sensual…so full…and you thought the dude in the “Baby I Miss You” video had Vitamin E lips! This one…I bet this one exfoliates every day. I bet he eats all his vegetables…I bet he uses fermented castor oil on those lips…Oh, and organic shea butter. I bet he drinks the required half-gallon of water to regularly nourish those lips. I bet he uses those lips to read Psalms 119 before he goes off to bed.

Oh, yet another friend has joined the conversation. See, what guys do behind our backs, girls? We already know that the conversation that’s about to ensue is going to center on one thing…women…how terrible they are…and men…how righteous they always are.

Let’s talk about his new guy…His skin is so smooth…he probably moisturizes it with homemade tomato soap…And, look at his teeth.

So cute. His gums are so brown. I bet he flosses and brushes three times a day. I bet he gargles with coconut oil. And his hair…nice tape, homey….they sure are giving that barber a lot of business.

And this guy with the red shirt on…almost, almost had a dimple. Nice kreyolicious smile.

So, wait…there’s a fourth guy in the room? Oh, boy, it’s about to go down. Ooh, some serious backbiting is about to go down.

He’s removed the hater blockers. He doesn’t look so forbidding now. He looks friendly. Who is he? A relationship coach?

Oh, and we get a better look at his outfit. Very, very kreyolicious. Gray is definitely his color. Nice kicks, relationship coach…if that’s what thou are.

So, I was wrong…no backbiting. A sort of relationship-how-to…set to music…a relationship coaching session.

That barber, that barber…that barber…look at that tape.

I like the fact that the director inserts scenes from the relationship coach’s own life into his lecture to demonstrate that behind closed doors, he’s practicing what he preaches. We all know those types of people who are geniuses when it comes to lecturing others and cretins when it comes to applying the principles they sermonize. Well, thankfully, this relationship coach is not of that cloth—all the more easier to ingest his message.

I think the most powerful line from this song is this one: (“Pa kache santiman ou pou yon fanm ki chè pou ou”/(Don’t keep your feelings on the low from a woman who means the world to you). I had to really think about this sentence, and about how deep it goes. I think a lot of times guys are fearful. They think that in telling a girl that they love her and care for her, they’re somehow stripping themselves of their manhood…but as the song goes on to say, it’s good to make sure that a woman has full-coverage love insurance/assurance. I really like that latter concept. It’s interesting to note that the word “chè” in Creole also means ‘expensive’…as in materially expensive…and it’s also used to mean something that’s ‘dear’? Rather curious, no?

All the principles and suggestions made by the relationship coach are what makes a relationship: flowers to show appreciation, a canoe ride for spending time together, quiet time at home over glasses of wine to reminisce and reflect together. I dig.

Now that the relationship coach’s students have been given suggestions on how to improve their relationship, they’re ready to apply his sermons. Hooray!

This participant has shed his glasses. Smooth skin, no?

He gives his girl a thoughtful kiss. He then steps back to watch her as she undresses. This is a body that he probably sees on the daily, but he takes his time to savor it, and lets her know he appreciates her bodily gifts. They take a shower together. There’s nothing like quality time that purifies.

Ah, this one…guess the heart of the problem for his relationship was his workaholic ways.

He misses all the cues. His girl is on the couch…in her, ahem nightly wear, and he’s just sitting there…typing away. He probably has an internet business. Or perhaps he works in an office…spends the entire day at the office, and then brings more work to his home. She rolls her eyes. He doesn’t notice. She flips her hair—he doesn’t blink.

She gives him a huge twaze. He’s still typing away at his keyboard.

Meanwhile, the relationship coach’s other patient…er…other client is applying the affection principle to his relationship—with marvelous results. Beautiful.

He’s even happier in the studio. Thumbs up, indeed. Compare this smile to the stern look he had on his face at the beginning of the relationship coaching session.

He gets an unexpected surprise from his girl. See? He’s already reaping the fruits of taking to heart the relationship coach’s lessons.

Sometimes all you need is one piece of wisdom.

Ah, the last student from the coach’s roster. Will he successfully implement the advice of the relationship coach and cherish his woman?

OMG, see what I told you guys earlier about the book being used as a weapon! And I thought I was over-imagining things!

While we’re discussing this scene, can we take a look at the recho in the background? There’s nothing on there…not even boiled water. This girl is on strike against this Negro. He must have done something serious! Dreadlock samurai, I’m mad at you. You’re the only one in the dude therapy group who didn’t execute the “Se Konsa” theorem. So at the beginning of the vid, he hands her the book…perhaps he thinks she’s the problem. It’s possible that she’s the problem. But in that scene where she tries to kiss him, you could tell that he is indeed the problem. He just sits there, expecting to be catered to…and he’s not returning her show of affection. He just sits there, immobile. And you can’t just hand her the book! Why not read it together if she has some things of her own she needs to fix in the relationship?

Let’s hope this video has a sequel where the braided hair samurai gives flowers, make her go “ooh la la”, and gives her a $500,000 love assurance/insurance policy. Love without reservations. Or, let him be the main actor in a cautionary tale on what not to do. Some people will never think they’re the problem. It’s always the other person. And for every success story the relationship coach has, for every relationship he’s able to transform, there’s some that he’ll never be able to change.

Very charming little vid from the boys of Dat7. Kudos to this Mr. Dalex Saint-Jean. Se konsa…se konsa…