Harmonik-itis: Its Symptoms, Treatment and Cure

You have both of Harmonik’s albums. And you’ve bought extras in case something happens to the original CDs. You must have your Harmonik at all times.

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There is an epidemic out there, and the men and women of medicine have dubbed it Harmonikitis. You must take precautions not to become infected. Here are a few signs that you might have already succumbed to this menace:

You are Obsede with MacD.

You are in the process of changing your legal first name to “Angelique”

Smokes of anger emerged out of ears when the “Let’s Go” video came out, as you felt that those fish-net legwarmer-wearing ghetto ballerinas were a little too close to MacD.

You’re always ready to curse out anyone who has anything but favorable things to say about your beloved Nickenson Prud’homme.

And you’re always claiming that you’re some kin to Jeff Medelus and you swear to your friends at school Charles the percussionist is your cuzzin’.

You still miss Ti Joel.

In your nightly prayers, you ask God to safeguard Rodney Noel and keep his bank account full.

When you saw photo footage of MacD with a wedding ring on his finger, you got really suicidal.

You have both of Harmonik’s albums. And you’ve bought extras in case something happens to the original CDs. You must have your Harmonik at all times.

You failed catechism class because when they asked you who the three magis were, you answered Nickenson, Sanders and MacD. No holy communion wafer for you missy.

TREATMENT AND CURE

As of this writing, scientists have not discovered a cure.

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